Look, we’re all so modern
Everyone’s so liberal and
Quirky and so open-minded
And shocking! It’s so shocking
To see pop stars take their clothes off
And use curse words in their songs

And never mind that 20 years ago, Madonna did it first
You can’t show your face in church
But Lady Gaga’s meat-dress doesn’t shock you half as much
As Amanda Palmer’s tits and furry pits

Look, we’re all so tolerant
Of violence in movies
Baby, look what we are proving
But it’s shocking, oh so shocking
When they have sex on camera
You’d think this was America

And never mind that 25 years ago, Almodóvar did it first
You can’t show yourself in church
And that sex scene in Brokeback Mountain doesn’t shock you half as much
As Amanda Palmer’s tits and furry pits

Look, we’re all so angry
About the state of the media
We have a million complaints between us
But it’s shocking, oh so shocking
How Celebrity A got a DUI
And Celebrity B laid down and died

And never mind that 40-odd years ago, Janis Joplin did it first
You can’t show your face in church
But the death of Amy Winehouse didn’t shock you half as much
As Amanda Palmer’s tits and furry pits

Look, we’re all so carefree
We can joke about the government
And rape, and self-entitlement
But it’s shocking, oh so shocking
How those fuckers try to force us into
Health care plans and servitude

And never mind that many decades ago, all the rest of the world did it first
You can’t show yourself in church
But Obama’s plans and policies don’t shock you half as much
As Amanda Palmer’s tits and furry pits

And never mind that on this planet millions are dying every day
You don’t believe that anyway
And rocket strikes on the Gaza strip don’t shock you half as much
As Amanda Palmer’s tits and furry pits